Visit the Sky

Quick sketch. This song painted this picture in my mind... but... it sounds slightly more yellow.

Up Against the Wall

>.>......Nooooo comment.

Love is a Lottery

When  I  trusted  another with the most vulnerable part of my being, the risk of losing it increased exponentially. To hope and trust she would never take advantage of that, is to love.  Too many times have I trusted another deeply flawed creature to be responsible with such power, and each failure took a piece of me that I can never get back. I deserve this pain, somehow. This punishment is retribution for the transgressions of my past life. Thus, I shall serve out the rest of my sentence in this existence, alone; protecting what’s left of me from the potential abyss of disappointment that would surely consume me, should I fail again. Why would I risk the tiniest bit of what’s left of myself for a glimmer of hope of what I know to be a lie? Love is a lottery and the chances of winning are just as probable.

Gypsy's Kiss

*muah*

Sinking Fast

Charlie did a bad thing.

Now she's going to hell.

Run, Charlie! RUN!

Untenable safety.

My Muse

So let me kinda, sorta try to explain... I've been really uninspired for a while. You can see that if you just look at 2013's archive. You can't make inspiration happen, it just does, and I would get a spurt once in a blue moon. HOWEVER, I am coming to realize that apparently I have to feel "emotions and shit" to be inspired because all this production that has taken place since around late November can be traced back to a single source. I was perfectly content and happy before then and something happened that ruffled my feathers. Not only this, but looking in the archive at last year, I noticed a similar surge of sketches happened right after a previous encounter with the same person.

I wasn't fully aware of what it meant until this drawing occurred. It was kicking the shit out of my mind to come out. I literally could not focus. I have other shit I specifically need to be working on but I couldn't continue until I got this out.

Picture's pretty self explanatory without the need of going into detail. Even in my utter dissatisfaction with the ambivalent nature of our "friendship", I can legitimately credit this person as my muse. I still don't fully understand specifically what it is that is reflected in him that I admire, but the drawing power is strong enough that he's my proverbial carrot on a stick; always just out-of-fucking-reach . *sigh*

Charlie too

A slight little redesign of Charlie, first introduced here. Working on some style frames. I like this dress better, it's less frilly and a little more bad-ass.

Sweater Weather

Inspired by the song. It completely takes me back to LA. I see a sunset behind silhouettes of palm trees and an amber glare casting a vivid spectrum of colors across the sky that only smog can produce. It's Tumblr come to life. Initially when I started sketching this I felt such a strong sense of nostalgia of LA and also being in love- it was almost kind of sad, because I realized I'll never be able to love fearlessly like that again, which is obviously just part of growing up. But the song embodies, just that: Passionate, fearless, euphoric and reckless young love  

Purification by Fire

Trying to sketch fast. I like the color, but that's about it. I saw it in a dream.

The Beaten Path

Boring, just like the title. But it was very good practice, I learned a lot. So I'm gonna be working on more of these because honestly, all I need to do is practice. and by the looks of it, I have a LONG way to go. Onward!

Oily

Quick sketch.

Hiatus Kaiyote

You guys and Flying Lotus helped lead me to the middle path. Namaste!

I had an AMAZING TIME tonight at the Hiatus Kaiyote Concert. Right in the middle of the Ocelot song, I busted out the poster I made while I sang along, showing it to the band and crowd and Nai Palm was so excited she pulled me up on stage to join her! "Me?!" I looked surprised pointing to myself. She reached for me with a giddy smile on her face. So I went up. SO nervous! I showed my poster to the audience as I grooved to the beat of my favorite song and I hugged her before getting back down, obviously not wanting the attention, lol. I blew her a kiss and she bowed to me and I to her. SO much love! I was so happy that she liked it as much as she did, I could tell she was touched. I gave it to her, but in all honestly it was for all of them because the music is a collaborative effort and they're all so amazing. When I was leaving I managed to buy a poster and get an autograph from Perrin and Nai Palm, but Paul was so far away as I waded in the chaotic line that was a sea of fans, and I didn't even see Simon anywhere.

I do regret that I didn't get all their autographs :\. But I did get another picture with Nai Palm and I even got to ask her about the tattoo on the corner of her mouth. She said she had a pet crow that scratched her( I think?), she got the tattoo to remember her by.

 I didn't realize it at first, and most of Hiatus Kaiyote's lyrics didn't make sense to me until more recently but I can feel it that Nai Palm is definitely a Buddhist. I guess the signs were always there, but I can see them more clearly now.

 "Lace skull that once hung low, on its humble throne. I woke, I rose"

Yeah, I get it now. I'm so happy! A million thanks for gracing DC with your wonderful presence once again, you guys made my night, and I hope I returned the favor!

Dot, Dot, Dot Ocelot

I attempted to make an ocelot a few months back and it didn't turn out like I wanted. So I did it again because Hiatus Kaiyote is coming to DC this Friday and you KNOW I got a ticket ^_^ I'm gonna print a poster and give it to them at the show :D. I'm proud of this one so its guud. LOL

Apophysis

So I've started learning Apophysis. It's really different than what I'm used to. A little more technical, but still extremely expressive. In Buddhism, making mandalas is meditative in practice and I thought Apos would be a great way to express it. I'm very new to it, but I made a Grand Julia today. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself!

Ushnishavijaya

Ushnishavijaya is the Buddha of longevity. She constitutes the three Buddhas of long life.

As I started this sketch, I was in a meditative state of mind. Sketching, drawing, and I daresay art, in all its forms are meditative in nature simply because they require focus. While I have been meditating and getting my feet wet in the proverbial sense, by attending weekly meditations at a Buddhist temple, I've had some small successes but lately felt like I needed to push further, see some more proof. I don't know why; but with faith I always get signs and positive proof delivered by none other than my environment, to the point where I know god is with me. But after a while I can feel it waning and always want more proof. Anyway I went to meditation last week and to my dismay they were holding the service in Tamil(I think) whatever it was I couldn't understand a word. and I was like "well this is pointless" so I go to leave, and a little old Asian lady is sitting out in the foyer waiting. We started talking and I basically told her that the spirit was willing, but I feel like I've just arrived on a new planet in the middle of its wilderness. I didn't know where to start the learning process. She led me into the small library of the temple and gave me a few books. Mind you, I've been reading one book this whole time about the essentials of Theravadan Buddhism, but it was more like a history lesson than anything else.

Anyway, I started reading them and within the day, I mean I found the answers to everything I have ever questioned. I'm going to reserve that for another post when I know more. Also one of the problems with relaying this kind of profound information is the personal interpretation that may come with it and I want to avoid thatat all costs. I found it so easily, within the pages of a small book called "Early Western Buddhists" published by The Wheel publication which I imagine is what the Watchtower is to Jehovah's Witnesses. My mind was so blown. I'm so happy I found this, I can feel my spirituality growing. I was so scared  to leave behind the only teachings I ever knew (but didn't fully understand) to seek out the truth. Scared that it might be disappointing or terrifying. But the truth, which isn't biased, just is. It's just logical, and practical and it is complete and I am absolutely elated to have found it.

As I draw, I have more revelations. It takes quieting of the mind to work meticulously like this. I finished her up yesterday and wanted to share. Thanks for reading! Peace.

Coy

OK, So I didn't make it on Saturday. My bad. I was playing in poser earlier when I actually made a decent render. So I took her in to Photoshop and touched her up a little bit. She's cute, no?

No Excuses

I know I have no excuse for being MIA for the entire month of September. I don't have any sketches to show. I'm disappointed in that, but I'm trying to set some things in motion that I've had some trouble getting organized. I'm the worst at time management, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated because I am honestly very bad at organizing and prioritizing my thoughts when I'm overwhelmed with tasks I'm trying to accomplish. Anyway, I'm gonna have a sketch up by Saturday if it kills me.

 

On a side note-

I don't wanna put my ex on blast or anything, but I'm gonna say this because if for any reason I ever need to be reminded why we should never get back together under any earthly circumstances in this dimension of reality it should be this:

 He and his new gf (the one he swore up and down he didn't want to be with) picked up, moved to Philadelphia, with no prospect of employment and then he called me shamelessly asking me for money to fund his new life. Take a moment to really let that sink in...

Luke 23:34
I am moving forward resolutely with no more regrets or sadness simply because it has become crystal clear and cosmically reinforced that I had NO BUSINESS with a person like this in the first place. My mistake

To my ex: On the off chance that you somehow see this and you feel guilty or ashamed, that's good. That means there's hope for you. If not, oh well. Good luck with life.

Little Red

I spent some wicked time on this one. It's been a long time since I've done a balls-to-the-wall render so I went a little crazy. Hope you like ittt!

WTF

Somebody tell me why people like to try me?  Do I just have a giant sign on my forehead saying "fuck with me"? This seems to be a recurring thing.  When I was working at staples it seemed like people sought me out specifically because I had a face that demanded they try and ruin my day.

So I get on the bus,  find a seat,  sit down. Some snaggle-tooth, ghetto, asswipe walks up to me and is staring at me kinda weird.  So I Scooch over,  assuming he wants to sit next to me. And he does, but he's still staring so I take my headphones out and ask "did you say something?" And he says " CAN I SIT HERE?!" like I vehemently offended him even though he's asking me this while his ass is in the seat. I just cut my eyes at him and gave him a "fuck off" look before returning to my music.

The end?  No. I'm occupying the  least amount of space possible because I already have decided this man's a bag of dicks and he's sitting with his legs wide open. He bumps my leg any I throw a malicious sideways glance, dripping of ire. He sees it.  And decides I'm gonna just flap my legs back and forth because I am one of the lowest forms of an example of an evolved human being and need some sort of attention to feel validated.  I just stood up and said "excuse me", he didn't move.  I said it again and he says " Oh,  you getting off? " I didn't.  I sat in the seat directly across the aisle.  Because fuck you.  That's why.

Destiny

Depressed Miri is depressed. She's married to a vituperative king who basically wed her only to secure an alliance between his own kingdom and her father's. Miri was used as a bargaining chip to save her people from being conquered but her husband abuses her, physically, verbally and sexually. So she hates her life, but she can't kill herself  because, if she does, it means she forfeits her kingdom to his tyrannical rule. So she wastes away like a rare flower in the desert kingdom, longing and wishing for the only love she'd ever known as a young girl to come and save her. Wishful thinking? Maybe.

Okami Kari

Okami Kari translates to bad ass little ninja red riding hood. LOL just kidding. It translates to "wolf hunter"

Riki was found sitting naked on a riverbank when she was 7 years old. She was raised in a village where the males were all trained to fight and the women were raised to be homemakers. Her adoptive father, wanting a son, but only granted this daughter, decided to raise her as his son and train her accordingly. The village was constantly being terrorized by wolves, and people's livestock were being eaten, but the villagers weren't completely defenseless and trained from birth to deal with such conditions. They were killing wolves left and right, like pests, and life went on.

But there was one legendary white wolf, that the elders would whisper about. They said it was actually a demon that could shape-shift and take human form.
It once took the form of one unfortunate little one's beloved, and widely revered grandmother, decades before, to get revenge on the village people for murdering so many of its pack. The lovely flower of a girl named Yuki went to visit her grandmother with a basket of bread and when, prompted to come closer by the convincing excuses of the imposter was brutally mauled.

The girl lived. Her perfect form, maimed beyond recognition. She was blinded, her arms and legs severed and what once was a beautiful face was little more than shredded flesh. She made as full a recovery as anyone could under such conditions. After a year, it was simply said that she died of a broken heart ^{"via opium overdose"}

 Reality slowly faded into memory, memory faded into legend and it became a story. Until. That long-shrill-otherwordly howl pierced through the forest as no one expected and everyone, even the naysayers, knew. The wolf demon had returned. At first the men were enthusiastic and eager to actively hunt the monster. The first hunt, 15 men marched bravely into the birch forest in the dead of winter. None returned. The demon began taking people in the late hours right before dawn. Shrieks and cries of terror echoed throughout the night for days before a second hunting party was scraped together to pursue the beast, yet again.

 Riki, petite of frame, but stealthy and quick-footed, attempted to join the hunting party but was ridiculed and ultimately dismissed for being female. 30 men went. None returned, and the midnight attacks resumed. The village numbers started to dwindle after 2 weeks when Riki decided to take matters into her own hands.

She donned a white kitsune mask and long red shawl to taunt her prey out of hiding and stole her father's halberd in the dead of night before fleeing silently to the woods under the waning indigo light of dusk. She waited 4 hours, then waited some more. Hidden from sight behind a fallen tree with her weapon at the ready, her extremities were all but frozen. Her own breath behind the mask was the only thing keeping her face warm but also keeping the heat of it from being seen. The snapping of a nearby twig alerted her senses at last and Riki surreptitiously slithered closer to the source. It was the demon- A white wolf standing at 9 feet tall on 2 legs like a human! Riki moved silently to her mark, while the monster snarled, tasting something different in the air. Her movement caught its attention.

It saw her. She saw it.

She immediately turned and began running, The wolf emitted it's tyrannical, ear-splitting howl for bloodlust before running full speed after the tiny girl. It was no competition, withing 3 paces, the girl's head start meant nothing and the wolf was all but on top of her, snapping its monstrous mouth shut on her crimson shawl. Riki flawlessly spun out of the garment as the wolf swiped its 4 inch claws across her left arm in an attempt to grab her. She side-flipped in an evasive maneuver with the other end of the scarf in hand and as soon as the demon's blood-tipped claws were assaulting her, looped her shawl around his other wrist. The wolf continued to lash out viciously, claws, and teeth gnashing at the girl, but only ever striking air until she finally tugged her entire body weight on the shawl, closing the loops around the wrists and ankles of the beast. A enraged roar reverberated throughout the forest, disturbing a nearby flock of crows before the wolf went about shredding the shawl to pieces in an attempt to free itself, but not before Riki's axe fell on it's wrists, cutting off both hands.

The beast howled in fury and pain, it's eyes fixed in a deadly glare on its masked captor.

 "Please... please don't kill me."

 Riki had blinked and now before her, a tiny innocent boy, no older than the age of 8, lie before her. His hair was white as the snow, and his eyes were grey as the overcast winter sky. his blood was staining the pure snow, and his body paled more by the second.

 "I didn't mean to hurt anyone!"

 Riki, raised her halberd shaking away any thoughts of compassion for the monster.

 "I swear I didn't! Please don't hurt me!"

 "DEMON! I KNOW YOU STEAL THE SOULS OF THOSE YOU SLAY AND USE THEIR FORMS AS DISGUISES. FOR WE HAVE MET BEFORE!"

 The demon's innocent face faltered as Riki's mask was lifted, her eyes blazing white hot and revealing the familiar face of a girl that the wolf remembered from another lifetime. Yuki. .

 "IMPOSSIBLE!"

 "I SACRIFICED MY LIFE TO PROTECT THIS VILLAGE FROM YOUR BLOODLUST. NOW IT'S TIME TO PAY FOR YOUR SINS!"

Riki brought her axe down on the demon's tail, severing it so violently that it flew several feet across the snow, spraying blood in its wake. He howled again, this time more painfully and pitifully.

"I MADE YOU! YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME, GIRL!" The demon laughed ominously. "YOU WERE REBORN OF MY BLOOD AFTER YOUR SOUL WAS FREED AND YOU WILL KILL AS I HAVE!"

 "THE BLOODLUST WON'T TAKE OVER ME AS IT DID YOU, DEMON! I HAVE SOMEONE TO PROTECT!" Riki said, driving her halberd down through his ankles.

One last, defeated and painful howl pierced the winter air as the wolf's child form, began to wane. Fur began covering the tiny body as it grew back to the full monstrous size of that of a demon and as the light began to leave his eyes. the wolf scoffed once more at the irony of his plight, before Riki's axe cleaved the smug monster's head from its shoulders. The wolf's body immediately began bubbling up and sizzling into a puddle\of tar-like smoke, wasting away into the icy winds that followed, but the head remained and Riki took it back as her trophy.

The village people were so overjoyed at the morbid sight the monster's colossal, bloodied head, they all crowded around it to investigate as soon as Riki dropped it. No one seemed to notice the otherworldly transformation that began to take place immediately after she'd let go of it. Her hands and feet narrowed into white paws, fur covered her body and she shrank out of her own clothes.

When the townspeople finally looked in her direction, a small, white, fox, with red markings and 4 tails stood before them. A sense of reverence overcame them all and they bowed to the spirit, finally understanding Riki's purpose and thanking her in kind, for her selfless actions.  Riki smiled inwardly before turning to the trees. With one look back and a nod, she acknowledged the man who raised her and disappeared into the birch forest where the adventure would fade into memory, legend and ultimately become a bedtime story. 

Music Takes Me Up

Look! I did a speedpaint! So different from my usual stuff. I had a lot of fun playin' around with this one. The original colors were like 200% more retina-scorching saturated than this. It was disgusting how bright it was- it looked like an a unicorn jizzed all over my monitor. I toned it down for YOUR sake. You're welcome.

The Spirit of Ronni

This is an amalgam of some of my experiences as of late. I've been going to meditation at a Buddhist temple every Sunday for a while now and I'm learning about the Dhamma and its benefits. I really love the inner peace and patience I'm gaining from practicing it.

I also went home to visit Detroit a few weeks back, which is usually a negative experience for me; for a lot of reasons. But this past time was good. It was warm, I got to see a lot of my cousins, aunts and uncles at the family reunion and I realized how much I missed them all.  I don't always readily like to associate myself with Detroit because there's alot of negative stigmas attached. But its home.

A lot of the reason I get so stressed when I go back is because the deterioration and poverty is so apparent and nothing like anywhere else in the US. The criminals are rampant like wild animals. The Police and Fire Departments' funding has been cut so drastically, they rarely try to to enforce anything. That's just the tip of the iceberg, but it's not a fun time going home to that kind of environment. Not to mention the physical look of  the city. It has become extremely commonplace to see burnt down houses, because people hit such financial crises that they would do it for insurance money. SO now there are entire blocks that are just vacant, burnt up houses; or if you're lucky, the city might have actually taken the time to destroy them. You understand why its depressing now?

But the last time I went back, the sun was shining like nothing was wrong and the wilderness is taking Detroit back. I don't know why, but seeing new saplings growing up through those burnt up shells of houses and wildflowers starting to overtake those vacant blocks again gave me a sense of hope. There were little rabbits everywhere and pheasants running through the high unkempt grass. Probably even foxes. It's becoming so devoid of human population that nature is happily taking back what has always been rightfully hers. Therein lies balance and hope for the city, yet.

So the pose is reminiscent of both the meditation posture and the "Spirit of Detroit" which is a sculpture that represents the city. Behind the sculpture is a scripture that reads:
"NOW THE LORD IS THAT SPIRIT
AND WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE
LORD IS, THERE IS LIBERTY." II CORINTHIANS 3:17

This sketch is representing my roots in my persevering hometown and Christianity while also acknowledging my spiritual growth as a practicing Buddhist.

Dot, Dot, Dot, Ocelot

This here was inspired by Hiatus Kaiyote's song "Ocelot", which is also currently my ringtone. I don't know if I like this enough to finish it though, I might draw another one. But technically it's decent.

The Little Things

I had a little drama this morning. It was so asinine I probably shouldn't take the time to write it here but I'm gonna anyway. SO I've been making mozzarella, tomato and basil sandwiches all week for lunch and I couldn't think of any good condiments to go on my sandwich at first (Mayo was the default choice) but I'm not a big fan of mayo. Anyway I had a great idea, to put pesto on my sandwiches because I f*ckin love pesto and it just goes well with  my ingredients. Me, being a spoiled, lazy brat, solicited Kurt (my booski, who actually ENJOYS cooking) to make the pesto, because I knew he'd make it good!

I think you're taking advantage of me.

ANYWAY. He made the pesto on like, Monday and I wasn't able to go get it until yesterday. He lives far and I had to go get it after work-So I was exhausted. But at the end of the day, I got my Freakin' pesto. Moving on. I got home at like midnight, probably didn't actually go to bed til around 1 and went to sleep thinking of how awesome my sandwiches were gonna be at lunch tomorrow.

I  woke up, I'm gettin ready for work and I'm making my lunch and I look in the fridge where I put my little green jar of tasty and it's gone. I turn around and I ask my mom, "Where's my pesto?" and she's like "Ohhhh! I was looking for the apple butter (which is in a similar jar) and I was like 'OMG it turned green!' so I threw it out!"

At first I was like aw man, and basically started rifling through the trash can for it because it was in a sealed jar, so it's still edible, IDGAF. And she's like "No Rhonda, I rinsed it down the drain."

I was SO HURT. Like I knew she genuinely did not know and didn't mean to throw away my pesto but you know how when you work, or go to school every day, even the SLIGHTEST change in routine can kinda make your day? Maybe you got some new underwear, or are trying new mascara or are putting PESTO on your sandwiches. I was just REALLY looking forward to it and when I was denied, I was destroyed. I know: First World Problems, amirite? But even though this is such a small thing to get upset about, and I knew that, I couldn't help feeling sad the entire morning.

En route to work I had this inner dialogue with myself:
"Rhonda, this is pathetic, look how upset you are over a jar of pesto!"
"But Kurt made it for me; and it was so hard to get! I literally sacrificed sleep to get that pesto!"
"Yeah but it's just a condiment. There are people in the world with real problems."
"I know but I WANTED IIIIIITTT." T_T

I know. I'm a child. Anyway here I am sittin at work, sulking about this lost pesto when lo' and behold, the receptionist comes back and asks if I have any preference for toppings on the pizza that's being ordered today for the office.

Sometimes I feel spoiled and unworthy of favor, but God is good.  The moral of the story is to appreciate all blessings no matter how small. Sadhu! :)

Random Thought Train

I'm just sitting at my desk on a random Friday trying to balance my time between working and internetting when a random status update by my friend Nikki caught my attention. In it was a picture of the most vicious-looking centipede. I left my little 2 cents of a comment on how nasty it looked and how I've always been scared of centipedes and kept it moving. But then I started on a thought train.

"Why do centipedes scare you so much?"

"I don't know. They're gross. They have like, a gajillion legs."

"So? They cant hurt you. You are several thousand times larger than a centipede."

"Yeah, but they're just gross."

"SO they deserve immediate death because you perceive them as ugly?"

I couldn't really think of a retort to that. Now I do realize that they can bite and I don't think I would ever just allow one to keep on truckin' if I just happened to see him on my ceiling. But it got me thinking about my fear; most people's fear of bugs. I also had a traumatic experience once.

This is a palmetto bug. 

I'll eat your fucking kids.

They're found the southeastern region of the US and in tropical regions. They are RAMPANT in Savannah, Georgia. And also in Hyattsville, MD which is now mostly inhabited by hispanic folks, who I'm absolutely sure, unwittingly introduced these critters to the local ecosystem. They used to come up through our drains in our bathtub. Never while I was actually USING it, Thank God. But still, the horror. These bad-boys are quite adept at flying too, so you can imagine the panic upon encountering one.

On one such encounter- I'll never forget. Joe had left a greasy pan out on the stove overnight that we had cooked in. Anybody who's ever dealt with bugs knows thats a no-no but he didn't know any better. Anyway I walk in the kitchen an ^this guy whos about 2 inches long is just chillin in the pan, eating the greasy residue. I thought about it briefly. He was too busy eating to even notice me walk in so I thought of ways to handle this situation. I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't result in him panicking and flying/scurrying all over the place other than to kill him with fire. Literally, I put the pantop on and turned the fire all the way up. I don't know what I thought would happen. I just wanted him to die...

He just stood there for like 2 minutes, never moved, never showed any sign of discomfort and as soon as I thought, "Well shit, that didn't work." 

BOOM! White, frothy, pus-like fluid exploded from its ass and just started fuckin' sizzling...*shudder* it makes me cringe to think about it to this day! Needless to say, I threw away the pan and the top just because I would never be able to use it again without seeing that. SO YEAH. That happened.

Putting that one unfortunate experience aside though, why are we, as humans, so scared of these tiny, nasty little things. I mean they're ugly but by and large they can't hurt us and we're way more intimidating to them than they are to us. So where does this seemingly innate fear of insects come from? Were neanderthals and prehistoric men afraid of insects like us? Was it a learned behavior passed down through generations of men as a means to survival? Maybe. But it seems pretty silly these days in America* to be panicking about walking through a spider's web.

*(I cannot apply these views to the monsters that live abroad)

I'm just trying to be more mindful of things these days. A few weeks ago. I stepped on an ant while I was standing outside. Just because. She wasn't scaring me, crawling on me or anything. Just walking along and I, completely unprovoked, stepped on her and I felt bad. I took a life that can't be replaced for absolutely no reason. After that I gained a little more respect for tiny critters. When I saw a mouse chillin' in the corner of my boyfriend's room, I didn't freak out and neither did the mouse. He was kinda scared but I thought he was cute. And there are 2 really big and unruly crickets that live in the bathroom. I've just accepted that they live there, I see them sometimes in the morning, USUALLY they're calm and they don't move. But one morning I guess I walked in too fast and riled them up because they were just hopping all over the place so wildly that I  had to just back out for a minute and try again later.

I guess in all this I'm trying to say I have LESS fear concerning bugs. But I want to get to a level where I don't panic if a moth touches me. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes bugs need to die. But a once in a blue moon centipede that eats roaches and other household pests. Maybe, MAYBE he's worth saving and putting  outside. Just a thought.

Jezi Bell

Jezi is my little monster high OC. She's a succubus and all her friends call her Jezzy, but the bullies and haters call her Jizzy because she's a slut! LOL I love the  little cartooons  that are on youtube.  Other than the the overt hyper-sexualization, I think she would fit right in at monster high.^_^

Freddie in color. Quick warm-up doodle. Ugh @ her hand.

Sunday Morning

Taj and his girlfriend Kiaji pandiculating on a lazy Sunday. My scanner is some shit.

The Wolf You Feed

Yet again, another conceptual piece for the Scribble Skirmish blog. The theme this time was "fear" and my piece is very personal and true to my feelings. So I took my time, (moreso than usual) but still wasn't able to give 100%  due to time restrictions. So I had to cut some corners. Mostly with lighting and background. And it's STILL late even though we extended the deadlines to two weeks per submission. Oh well... The devil's in the details.

Futuristic Monarch

This was my submission to the past week's challenge for the Scribble Skirmish blog.

Crystal City

So Jaia, Jamar and I have begun a weekly challenge blog, called Scribble Skirmish, where we take turns coming up with a conceptual theme of the week and executing it within that time. This was the first challenge. I'm not gon lie, I ran out of time and I ended up kind of rushing the suspension bridge, but otherwise, I gotta say, not too shabby!

I be...

A birthday gift for my awesome boss! He loved it! I wanna be like him when I grow up! Happy Birthday, Mike! LOL

Failure.

Sometimes I fuck up. I like to think I'm always conscious and maybe even ahead of the curve regarding karma. But there are things I can't forsee, and tests that I cannot cheat. Sometimes I think I try to side-step, avoid and workaround it, but there is always something else waiting to blindside me, because I'm not as smart as I think I am. I really need to humble myself and always remember that. If I can accept that, MAYBE I'll be worthy of blessings. But sometimes, I fuck up...

Twilight Sparkle & Spike

Poor Spike. Twilight is always stressin' the lil' dude out.

Dashie

I wanted to upload all of the colored human ponies at once but Doing the lines is so time consuming that I thInk I'll just upload them as I finish them. SO may I present to you the one and only,tough, rough and tumble, ride or die, fast and furious, HPIC: RAINBOW DAAASH!

Inner Light

Sorry I've been gone almost a whole month! Inspiration comes in waves.

Gypsy Lover

I was never completely satisfied with all the conceptual outfits I came up with originally for Niyati. Kayli's and Farren's still look good to me but Niyati's were just so blah. Look at me. I'm getting consistent. I remember when I couldn't make her look the same when I drew her over and over. But look now. She looks like the same person! Wao!

Boogie: The Fashionista

I have some sketches that need to be scanned in. But in the meantime,I made kind of a little paperdoll comp with Boogie. SOooo I go to these gfx sites sometimes and I just download all kinds of stock shit- Whatever catches my eye, really. I've been doing it for years, so now I have a pretty huge collection of stuff. An entire library of just stock photos, vectors, and so on that I've NEVER even used. It's just taking up space on my hard drive. I don't know if this is a thing, but if it's possible to be a hoarder of digital media That is ME. Anyway These little clothing items were one of the thousands of vectors I've acquired. They were all separate little items and I thought they were just so cute, so I wanted to put them together and make little outfits.  So I drew a Boogie doll and played dress up with her. Who better for this than my original IMVU character?... I'll have a real sketch up tomorrow...

Blood Sugar

Happy New Year, all! I think this will  be a good year! Blood Sugar is yet another project I've begun working on at my leisure (kinda) I say kinda because it's really good practice and I don't know how committed to it I really am at this point. My men are starting to look like MEN! ^{Oh my gosh!} I started another plot with the help of my little sister who is 'bout that life. I said to her one day "Brittney, help me come up with a story." and she proceeded to weave a tale that included mob bosses, drugs, murder and prostitution. I was just like.... "WHY ARE YOU SO RATCHET?!" lol but its nice to have a fresh perspective on things, and since I NEVER would've even thought to write about this kind of stuff, it was somewhat intriguing. I tweaked her original version though, it was too raw for me. LOL So let me introduce you to the main characters.