Destiny

Depressed Miri is depressed. She's married to a vituperative king who basically wed her only to secure an alliance between his own kingdom and her father's. Miri was used as a bargaining chip to save her people from being conquered but her husband abuses her, physically, verbally and sexually. So she hates her life, but she can't kill herself  because, if she does, it means she forfeits her kingdom to his tyrannical rule. So she wastes away like a rare flower in the desert kingdom, longing and wishing for the only love she'd ever known as a young girl to come and save her. Wishful thinking? Maybe.

Okami Kari

Okami Kari translates to bad ass little ninja red riding hood. LOL just kidding. It translates to "wolf hunter"

Riki was found sitting naked on a riverbank when she was 7 years old. She was raised in a village where the males were all trained to fight and the women were raised to be homemakers. Her adoptive father, wanting a son, but only granted this daughter, decided to raise her as his son and train her accordingly. The village was constantly being terrorized by wolves, and people's livestock were being eaten, but the villagers weren't completely defenseless and trained from birth to deal with such conditions. They were killing wolves left and right, like pests, and life went on.

But there was one legendary white wolf, that the elders would whisper about. They said it was actually a demon that could shape-shift and take human form.
It once took the form of one unfortunate little one's beloved, and widely revered grandmother, decades before, to get revenge on the village people for murdering so many of its pack. The lovely flower of a girl named Yuki went to visit her grandmother with a basket of bread and when, prompted to come closer by the convincing excuses of the imposter was brutally mauled.

The girl lived. Her perfect form, maimed beyond recognition. She was blinded, her arms and legs severed and what once was a beautiful face was little more than shredded flesh. She made as full a recovery as anyone could under such conditions. After a year, it was simply said that she died of a broken heart ^{"via opium overdose"}

 Reality slowly faded into memory, memory faded into legend and it became a story. Until. That long-shrill-otherwordly howl pierced through the forest as no one expected and everyone, even the naysayers, knew. The wolf demon had returned. At first the men were enthusiastic and eager to actively hunt the monster. The first hunt, 15 men marched bravely into the birch forest in the dead of winter. None returned. The demon began taking people in the late hours right before dawn. Shrieks and cries of terror echoed throughout the night for days before a second hunting party was scraped together to pursue the beast, yet again.

 Riki, petite of frame, but stealthy and quick-footed, attempted to join the hunting party but was ridiculed and ultimately dismissed for being female. 30 men went. None returned, and the midnight attacks resumed. The village numbers started to dwindle after 2 weeks when Riki decided to take matters into her own hands.

She donned a white kitsune mask and long red shawl to taunt her prey out of hiding and stole her father's halberd in the dead of night before fleeing silently to the woods under the waning indigo light of dusk. She waited 4 hours, then waited some more. Hidden from sight behind a fallen tree with her weapon at the ready, her extremities were all but frozen. Her own breath behind the mask was the only thing keeping her face warm but also keeping the heat of it from being seen. The snapping of a nearby twig alerted her senses at last and Riki surreptitiously slithered closer to the source. It was the demon- A white wolf standing at 9 feet tall on 2 legs like a human! Riki moved silently to her mark, while the monster snarled, tasting something different in the air. Her movement caught its attention.

It saw her. She saw it.

She immediately turned and began running, The wolf emitted it's tyrannical, ear-splitting howl for bloodlust before running full speed after the tiny girl. It was no competition, withing 3 paces, the girl's head start meant nothing and the wolf was all but on top of her, snapping its monstrous mouth shut on her crimson shawl. Riki flawlessly spun out of the garment as the wolf swiped its 4 inch claws across her left arm in an attempt to grab her. She side-flipped in an evasive maneuver with the other end of the scarf in hand and as soon as the demon's blood-tipped claws were assaulting her, looped her shawl around his other wrist. The wolf continued to lash out viciously, claws, and teeth gnashing at the girl, but only ever striking air until she finally tugged her entire body weight on the shawl, closing the loops around the wrists and ankles of the beast. A enraged roar reverberated throughout the forest, disturbing a nearby flock of crows before the wolf went about shredding the shawl to pieces in an attempt to free itself, but not before Riki's axe fell on it's wrists, cutting off both hands.

The beast howled in fury and pain, it's eyes fixed in a deadly glare on its masked captor.

 "Please... please don't kill me."

 Riki had blinked and now before her, a tiny innocent boy, no older than the age of 8, lie before her. His hair was white as the snow, and his eyes were grey as the overcast winter sky. his blood was staining the pure snow, and his body paled more by the second.

 "I didn't mean to hurt anyone!"

 Riki, raised her halberd shaking away any thoughts of compassion for the monster.

 "I swear I didn't! Please don't hurt me!"

 "DEMON! I KNOW YOU STEAL THE SOULS OF THOSE YOU SLAY AND USE THEIR FORMS AS DISGUISES. FOR WE HAVE MET BEFORE!"

 The demon's innocent face faltered as Riki's mask was lifted, her eyes blazing white hot and revealing the familiar face of a girl that the wolf remembered from another lifetime. Yuki. .

 "IMPOSSIBLE!"

 "I SACRIFICED MY LIFE TO PROTECT THIS VILLAGE FROM YOUR BLOODLUST. NOW IT'S TIME TO PAY FOR YOUR SINS!"

Riki brought her axe down on the demon's tail, severing it so violently that it flew several feet across the snow, spraying blood in its wake. He howled again, this time more painfully and pitifully.

"I MADE YOU! YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME, GIRL!" The demon laughed ominously. "YOU WERE REBORN OF MY BLOOD AFTER YOUR SOUL WAS FREED AND YOU WILL KILL AS I HAVE!"

 "THE BLOODLUST WON'T TAKE OVER ME AS IT DID YOU, DEMON! I HAVE SOMEONE TO PROTECT!" Riki said, driving her halberd down through his ankles.

One last, defeated and painful howl pierced the winter air as the wolf's child form, began to wane. Fur began covering the tiny body as it grew back to the full monstrous size of that of a demon and as the light began to leave his eyes. the wolf scoffed once more at the irony of his plight, before Riki's axe cleaved the smug monster's head from its shoulders. The wolf's body immediately began bubbling up and sizzling into a puddle\of tar-like smoke, wasting away into the icy winds that followed, but the head remained and Riki took it back as her trophy.

The village people were so overjoyed at the morbid sight the monster's colossal, bloodied head, they all crowded around it to investigate as soon as Riki dropped it. No one seemed to notice the otherworldly transformation that began to take place immediately after she'd let go of it. Her hands and feet narrowed into white paws, fur covered her body and she shrank out of her own clothes.

When the townspeople finally looked in her direction, a small, white, fox, with red markings and 4 tails stood before them. A sense of reverence overcame them all and they bowed to the spirit, finally understanding Riki's purpose and thanking her in kind, for her selfless actions.  Riki smiled inwardly before turning to the trees. With one look back and a nod, she acknowledged the man who raised her and disappeared into the birch forest where the adventure would fade into memory, legend and ultimately become a bedtime story. 

Music Takes Me Up

Look! I did a speedpaint! So different from my usual stuff. I had a lot of fun playin' around with this one. The original colors were like 200% more retina-scorching saturated than this. It was disgusting how bright it was- it looked like an a unicorn jizzed all over my monitor. I toned it down for YOUR sake. You're welcome.

The Spirit of Ronni

This is an amalgam of some of my experiences as of late. I've been going to meditation at a Buddhist temple every Sunday for a while now and I'm learning about the Dhamma and its benefits. I really love the inner peace and patience I'm gaining from practicing it.

I also went home to visit Detroit a few weeks back, which is usually a negative experience for me; for a lot of reasons. But this past time was good. It was warm, I got to see a lot of my cousins, aunts and uncles at the family reunion and I realized how much I missed them all.  I don't always readily like to associate myself with Detroit because there's alot of negative stigmas attached. But its home.

A lot of the reason I get so stressed when I go back is because the deterioration and poverty is so apparent and nothing like anywhere else in the US. The criminals are rampant like wild animals. The Police and Fire Departments' funding has been cut so drastically, they rarely try to to enforce anything. That's just the tip of the iceberg, but it's not a fun time going home to that kind of environment. Not to mention the physical look of  the city. It has become extremely commonplace to see burnt down houses, because people hit such financial crises that they would do it for insurance money. SO now there are entire blocks that are just vacant, burnt up houses; or if you're lucky, the city might have actually taken the time to destroy them. You understand why its depressing now?

But the last time I went back, the sun was shining like nothing was wrong and the wilderness is taking Detroit back. I don't know why, but seeing new saplings growing up through those burnt up shells of houses and wildflowers starting to overtake those vacant blocks again gave me a sense of hope. There were little rabbits everywhere and pheasants running through the high unkempt grass. Probably even foxes. It's becoming so devoid of human population that nature is happily taking back what has always been rightfully hers. Therein lies balance and hope for the city, yet.

So the pose is reminiscent of both the meditation posture and the "Spirit of Detroit" which is a sculpture that represents the city. Behind the sculpture is a scripture that reads:
"NOW THE LORD IS THAT SPIRIT
AND WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE
LORD IS, THERE IS LIBERTY." II CORINTHIANS 3:17

This sketch is representing my roots in my persevering hometown and Christianity while also acknowledging my spiritual growth as a practicing Buddhist.

Dot, Dot, Dot, Ocelot

This here was inspired by Hiatus Kaiyote's song "Ocelot", which is also currently my ringtone. I don't know if I like this enough to finish it though, I might draw another one. But technically it's decent.

The Little Things

I had a little drama this morning. It was so asinine I probably shouldn't take the time to write it here but I'm gonna anyway. SO I've been making mozzarella, tomato and basil sandwiches all week for lunch and I couldn't think of any good condiments to go on my sandwich at first (Mayo was the default choice) but I'm not a big fan of mayo. Anyway I had a great idea, to put pesto on my sandwiches because I f*ckin love pesto and it just goes well with  my ingredients. Me, being a spoiled, lazy brat, solicited Kurt (my booski, who actually ENJOYS cooking) to make the pesto, because I knew he'd make it good!

I think you're taking advantage of me.

ANYWAY. He made the pesto on like, Monday and I wasn't able to go get it until yesterday. He lives far and I had to go get it after work-So I was exhausted. But at the end of the day, I got my Freakin' pesto. Moving on. I got home at like midnight, probably didn't actually go to bed til around 1 and went to sleep thinking of how awesome my sandwiches were gonna be at lunch tomorrow.

I  woke up, I'm gettin ready for work and I'm making my lunch and I look in the fridge where I put my little green jar of tasty and it's gone. I turn around and I ask my mom, "Where's my pesto?" and she's like "Ohhhh! I was looking for the apple butter (which is in a similar jar) and I was like 'OMG it turned green!' so I threw it out!"

At first I was like aw man, and basically started rifling through the trash can for it because it was in a sealed jar, so it's still edible, IDGAF. And she's like "No Rhonda, I rinsed it down the drain."

I was SO HURT. Like I knew she genuinely did not know and didn't mean to throw away my pesto but you know how when you work, or go to school every day, even the SLIGHTEST change in routine can kinda make your day? Maybe you got some new underwear, or are trying new mascara or are putting PESTO on your sandwiches. I was just REALLY looking forward to it and when I was denied, I was destroyed. I know: First World Problems, amirite? But even though this is such a small thing to get upset about, and I knew that, I couldn't help feeling sad the entire morning.

En route to work I had this inner dialogue with myself:
"Rhonda, this is pathetic, look how upset you are over a jar of pesto!"
"But Kurt made it for me; and it was so hard to get! I literally sacrificed sleep to get that pesto!"
"Yeah but it's just a condiment. There are people in the world with real problems."
"I know but I WANTED IIIIIITTT." T_T

I know. I'm a child. Anyway here I am sittin at work, sulking about this lost pesto when lo' and behold, the receptionist comes back and asks if I have any preference for toppings on the pizza that's being ordered today for the office.

Sometimes I feel spoiled and unworthy of favor, but God is good.  The moral of the story is to appreciate all blessings no matter how small. Sadhu! :)