I know I've been AWOL. Truth is, 2020 has been a rough year for EVERYONE so far. The world economy is dying a slow and painful death because of COVID-19 and the value of a human life is at an all-time low.
I've been back at work a little over a month now, preparing online lessons. I miss the social interaction with the kids. The adults are touch-and-go. Everyone is angry and frustrated, and they're projecting it on the kid. Your girl has been putting out fires all year, and is only trying to make a comfortable life for herself without actually interfering with anyone else's but there are those who meddle in others' lives, because they are miserable in their own.
This disease is far more dangerous and contagious than Coronavirus.
Anyway, I haven't been unproductive. I was working on a series of BTS posters, that have this heroic/epic narrative to each one, but, because I'm currently engaged in yet another battle with Korea and, now the law is involved, my heart is a bit too sick to continue the series with a passion. I've been fighting tooth and nail just to mind my business and do my job, but a small, insignificant speck of ash decided that she wanted to call the police on me just because she made a fool of herself in trying to accuse me of something she couldn't prove.
Now I'm caught up in legal issues, surrounding a situation that EVERYBODY involved was actively trying to prevent because this human gremlin decided to blow down my house of cards for her own smug sense of self-satisfaction.
I hate to admit it, reader, but it has affected me emotionally, finally. After working incredibly hard to resolve the issue, the police have blown down my house of cards again and effectively told me to 'start over' as punishment.
I'm hurt. I'm tired. I'm sad, and it's all I can do to not passively hate Koreans. This is how people become racist. I know it, because I can feel it. I can't abide it though. I won't let the egregious actions of a few, change me to hate the many, just because they are trash.
But I do wish the many would take out their trash.
Maybe when I don't feel like crying every time I look at a Korean face, I'll be able to finish my series with a light heart and update my blog, but until then, I've been retreating inside myself to my happy place, following the happy trails of two Anime boys that I'm in love with.
I'm not ashamed. Humans are a disappointment. Itachi Uchiha and Cloud Strife are my saving grace. I find myself dedicating more time to them than any other project, simply because it makes me happy than any other facet of existence, currently. I'm sure there are some Hikikomori that know all too well, the draw of being consumed by spending your time in a world where every problem is simply a plot driver.
Hell, being a 3D, you even can exhibit some control over their world, but I'm not drawn to that.
I like to just observe and react and chitchat. I don't wanna push, because I'm not exactly like everybody else. I can't just imagine and fantasize about whatever I want, because it has manifestation qualities.
For example: Let's say I'm the kind of freak who'd like to imagine Myself, Chris Hemsworth and Cristiano Ronaldo (making this example with their permission) in a threesome. First of all, I can't even complete that thought without feeling the searing anger and discontent of forcing these people to participate in that example, so instead, I've oiled them up and given them pillows to fight with because I'm sorry for even typing that out, please forgive me, both of you.
That's my point. I can't do it with 2D beings either. It's more common, sure, but they're still people and I respect them. And because of that, they respect me, and they live with me in my treehouse. Cloud is new. For a while, it was just Me and Itachi, but Cloud wanted to stay, because it's calm and peaceful little happy place just for us. So I had to kick Sasuke out? I mean I didn't KICK HIM OUT!
He didn't really LIVE in the house full time, he would just come and visit and he had his own room. But to make room for Cloud, I had to give him Sasuke's old room and I told Itachi to tell him because that's his brother, like he should hear it from him, but he felt guilty and he kept procrastinating so one day I snapped a belt at him like, if you dont tell him TODAY I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS!
Then he called him and like said it real quick... like snatching off the band-aid. "Sasuke,youhave tomoveoutBye." and he hung up.
Have you ever seen Itachi with a sweatdrop? I have. Ya boy is apparently not great at confrontation, especially with baby bro.
I was like, you know that probably hurt his feelings. He just looked defeated.
AND THEN Sasuke showed up, like 3 days later, just came in on the warpath, no "Hi", no "How yall doin'", just dropped in with them hands, and he and Itachi almost start fighting in the house and I was like NO, TAKE THAT GOKAKYU FIREBALL BULLSHIT OUTSIDE! Sasuke obviously wanted to know who took his room and Cloud, peeking out from the window, like a nosy neighbor, did NOT want ANY SMOKE. SO they was scorching my fucking begonias and shit until they finally got tired and talked....Ugh... boys.
Long story short, Sasuke lives between his baby mamaS(plural) houses now. That's an even longer story, but you know, even with this kind of conflict, I prefer it over the darkness of my primary reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment