Updates

So, I have been a little preoccupied with life. I haven't truly updated this blog with a full-blown illustration in ages. Truth be told, I am struggling with a little bit of artist's block and some fear that I've lost my touch. I've been more focused on tinkering with 3D and photomanipulation than painting.

I have a lot of ideas in the way of my writing that I want to develop more, but I think I'm a bit overwhelmed with all my unfinished projects and trying to balance it with my life now. Let me be honest, I have NEVER actually had a full time job.

Ever since I graduated college, in 10 whole years, all of my jobs were part-time or I was working freelance. There were a few times in between when I was working pretty much every single day, but there were opportunities in both instances for me to work on my artwork on my computer during work hours (how lucky was I?)

Now, I am working 40 hours a week and I don't want to make excuses because I could set aside a little time a day, but I definitely need to manage my time better if that's how I'm going to do it. It's easy to get wrapped up in the current of life and be swept away from your talents and hobbies.

So I am juggling a few other priorities along with wanting to get all my artful ducks in a row. But the biggest problem I'm having with my art is that I'm overwhelmed and distracted. It's not so much a lack of inspiration, that I'm struggling with, it's more like, I have so many separate ideas that I want to execute that are narrative related...and some are in progress (but have been stopped mid-story), some haven't been started yet, some have been started and re-started to the point where I'm frustrated with the entire idea, even though the characters have been with me since my teenage years.

Art is a never ending project in the lifetime of an artist, though, and I certainly have a full plate on top of working full-time to ... you know... survive n' shit.

Now, again, it's not lack of inspiration that is holding me back, but an overwhelming amount of things I want to accomplish and no idea on what to prioritize first, AND when I do prioritize certain projects over others, I start to feel like it's work, because I'm OBLIGATED to execute them at the time that I assign, rather than organically letting them flow, WHICH IS TOTALLY DETRIMENTAL TO THE QUALITY OF THE WORK. When I force or push myself to do something that I am not purely inspired to do at the time, details go missing, it looks dry, cliche and contrived, and it's not as good as it would be if I'm inspired to do it at that moment. See? It's complicated.

Anyway, I've been trying to get into the groove of inspiration to complete work as organically as possible, even if I have to rotate through the projects completing a little bit at a time, rather than doing a chunk here and a chunk there. I don't exactly know how to get into that mode, so that the projects start to fall into place on a timeline of prioritization; without me forcing the process, BUT I am onto something.

Sometimes I try to freely make art that relates to nothing; meaning it has nothing to do with any of my stories. But, sometimes I get so wrapped up in the details of it, it becomes just as much work as if I were working on a project, and then, its not fun anymore.

SO I acknowledge that I need to get out this need to free my preoccupied mind of the jumbled mess of it all by SLOWLY releasing the creative stream, like bloodletting, so that the level balances to sift the inspiration and the will to execute to the top of priority in my mind. BUT HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

Back in the day, I'd just start sketching on paper, references and whatever popped into my head, until my head was clear.

Now, my Pinterest is lit. One of my boards that is particularly interesting is the one for ball-jointed-dolls. There are people out there that style these gorgeous dolls that are really detailed and inspirational for me.



At first I was like: "I want to get into Ball-jointed dolls" but then, my Shadow was like "You have enough projects on your plate that you're neglecting, you don't need anymore distractions! LET'S NOT FORGET THAT YOU HAVE A SECODLIFE AND AN IMVU, YOU DON'T NEED A DAMN BJD!"

He had a great point, but I was still feeling a real attraction to these dolls and the very intricate and polished aesthetics of their style. Sometimes these dolls are couture as hell!



 Mind you, they're like 200 dollars minimum, and that's not even including the little outfits and hair. So, I've reconsidered... but I started thinking that maybe I can mimic the compositions and general styling with my resources to mirror these dolls, just as a way to kinda "sketch" my way out of my chaotic artist's block and I think I'm really onto something. I feel like I did it quickly, without having to overwork my mind with conceptualizing from scratch in a way that is time consuming, but still managed to make something that is unique and good enough to be proud of. Like this:

Pretty Pinterest Ball Joint Doll

Pinterest DIY level: NAILED IT!

and this...

I like it, because it's not an aesthetic I would have put together on my own, but I got it pretty good, right? Maybe after a few more of these I'll be able to prioritize my work accordingly. Fingers crossed.